In December 2013 I sat amongst over 300 people at Christian Pankhurst’s Heart Summit in Holland. I felt a part of me wanting to run screaming out of that huge circular room filled with all these strangers learning to feel more and be present in their hearts.
There was a part of me so afraid to be seen and to feel embarrassed or not good enough or unloveable.
The part of me that liked to keep everything in my environment under ‘control’ so that I didn’t need to feel vulnerable or feel what I didn’t like to feel was totally overwhelmed and freaking out.
As a highly sensitive empath everything in that room felt amplified 100 times.
I wanted out of there. I wanted to be alone to sort myself out and put everything back under control before coming back into the space, showing up just how I like to be!!
Have you ever felt like this?
In that moment, I didn’t leave. I put up my hand.
As the microphone got passed...
It’s a little difficult to describe to the outside world exactly what happens when we go into the Temple of Sacred Womanhood. You see we take together a mystical journey deep into the dark creative depths of the womb.
It is by its very nature a unique journey into the unknown every single time. There is nothing we can do to prepare ourselves, and yet everything that has come before has prepared us exactly for this moment.
We experience something that is so far beyond what we could do alone, and what our limited minds could imagine and plan.
The perfect constellation of hearts appears as our medicine.
We are called to release our fearful grip of control, attachment and resistance, in the presence of such unconditional love, presence, acceptance and safety. Our fight is futile. We are met again and again with compassion.
With so much fierce love and gentleness, everything that is ready to be healed and integrated into wholeness emerges to be seen, heard and felt. Not even our...
To life and love, I surrender. I open my body to the infinite love-making dance of Shiva-Shakti. This is the purpose of creating time and space for embodiment practices!!!
Breath • Movement • Sound • Touch.
Nothing feels more important than this – being in my body and experiencing life flow through me as emotion, energy, sensation, sound, vibrations…. LOVE
My practice is simply to open the energy channels in my body and then surrender to LIFE force and how she wants to move and be expressed.
I make myself available to love, health, vitality and abundance.
So I’d like to share with you today something I am madly passionate about, so much so that I have dedicated (at least) my last 6 years completely to this. (warning: I am madly passionate about this!)
That something is “Relationships” – how we relate to each other, which of course stems from how we relate to ourselves and Life. I call it “Conscious Connecting”.
I am going to attempt to gradually find written words to share my experiences with you. This is a start.
What I see around me is a society very, very confused about love, intimacy and relating, especially between men and women, and a lot of people suffering as a result.
In fact, rather than experiencing love, intimacy and conscious connecting, a lot of people are stuck in fear, control, attachment and projection, wrapped up together and called ‘love’. I was there and sometimes still am.
The unspoken truths often sound like:
If you are...
Filling up on juicy life-force in Bali! My practice is to open my body to receive and be fully available for life’s abundance. It is not me who has to generate energy. My job is to let go, open up and expand the container for life to flow through me.
So many of us are concerned with our energy levels and the (predominantly western) conditions of burnout, chronic exhaustion and fatigue. So many people use sugar, caffeine, drugs, sport and doing more, to push through and get more out of their bodies!
Ever since I burned out in 2010 and experienced such a devastating sense of depletion, I have been on a mission to recuperate and better understand my body’s wisdom, energy and life-force. There is no one quick fix answer.
The answers come from truly listening to the wisdom of my body or rather I should say ‘bodies’. Recovery and maintaining wellness comes from being aware of my physical, emotional-energetic, psychological, intuitive and spiritual bodies.
I choose to experience this lifetime as a journey, as a sacred pilgrimage, as an adventure deeper into the unknown, into the wilderness, with no fixed destination in mind as this would only limit my journey to that which I already know.
I wish to experience the journey with open heart and open mind and open senses so as to be fully available to the wisdom revealing itself to me and the guidance emerging for each next step.
I choose to feel my vulnerability as this journey unfolds and to meet it all with courage and humility.
The more I let go of the ‘me’ and ‘mine’, the more I open to ‘we’ and ‘us’, the more I am touched and humbled by the wings of Grace embracing and guiding all that is part of this magnificent voyage.
May we all find our joyful travel mates and always see the hand reaching out in support.
May we take our turn to courageously and wholeheartedly lead the way.
May we always remember to look back and to wait patiently...
So I’ve been in my personal rest cave for a few days and today as I emerge out of my cave I can really feel the benefits. Ah, my heart is open to receive and share with joy, compassion and love. My mind is more clear and I can discern more easily what is my truth, what is good for me and what not. What is a “no” and what is a “hell yes!”. I can see more clearly the vibrant colours of Life.
I am filled with creativity, hope and optimism. I envision limitless potential. Self-worth, inner knowing and courage have taken the place of fear, doubt and anxiety. I feel soft in my body, with a deep sense of trust in life.
I realise that these moments of withdrawal, deep rest and letting go are so essential for me to stay aligned with my truth, in-tune with my body, and the rhythms of Nature that are affecting me.
Anyone else feeling this need for regular retreat? It seems to me to be the only way to navigate this fast-moving, over-stimulated, externally-focused...
Here we are in 2018! A new beginning invites curiosity, hope, inspiration, and dreaming….. and maybe some hidden anxiety ?
I notice that if I am not careful, I fall into old patterns of over-planning and planning to do too much.
How about you?
When I stop to notice, I realise that this over-planning and setting resolutions that require more doing is driven by my head and the fear of ‘lack’ or not being enough already.
It’s also the desire to have everything under control and fear of the unknown outside the edges of my comfort zone.
However, this creates an underlying, often unconscious, low vibration anxiety that affects my nervous system, my digestive system, my sleep, and my organs, especially my liver, and therefore I start to get muscle tension.
Isn’t it fascinating?!!
What once seemed like positive thinking was actually keeping me locked in old patriarchal ways.
These old ways also...
Do you notice that during the winter months it can be easy to let your vibrations lower? Do you feel heavier and less motivated? It’s not the case for everyone but I certainly feel that I need to be more consciously and actively finding ways to raise my vibrations every day.
It’s because it’s darker and colder, you may be inside more, less active, eating more and heavier food, watching tv and spending more time looking at computer screens, and that will all affect your moods and thoughts.
It can be hard to just change your thoughts and mood because you want to. As soon as you take measures to raise your vibrations though, your thoughts and experience of life immediately change!
What does it mean to have high or low vibrations?
We all vibrate energetically at a particular frequency. The lower the frequency, the denser your energy. What you sometimes forget is that this directly affects...
I seem to be apologising a lot lately! My shadow side showing up and getting projected out on to others. Perhaps it’s a quick cutting comment, or an energetic withdrawal and being cold, or more easily being in conflict. Sometimes it’s a sense of inner turmoil and feeling down, with self-doubt and addictive or self-defeating patterns showing up. Bleh! I don’t like when this is going on. I feel my body tense and a bit numb to emotions. I feel my vibrations low. I can sense I’m being protective or defensive. My mind is not trustworthy.
It’s a bit like walking through a bog (very Irish analogy), trying to tip-toe through, yet every so often dropping in up to your knees, or even falling flat on your face in the mud, and then blaming someone else rather than laughing out loud and rolling around in it!
Does any of this resonate for you? I’m hearing it from many people these days.
But of course!! Of course it’s so strong right now at the time...
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